We’re all in this together

This may not be a very PC post but my mama bear heart is bursting at the seams with too many emotions.

Yesterday a 12 year old boy in a neighboring city took a knife to school and stabbed another 12 year old boy. A few days ago my friend’s daughter’s school was placed in lock down when the office received a threat. Only days before that, another friend’s daughter was in her high school which was locked down for 2.5 hours because of threats found scrawled on a note. Things like this are happening DAILY across the nation. Kids are picking up weapons and taking them to school.. something is WRONG here and its not JUST lack of gun control.

I don’t want to get into the topic of gun control.. I am not anti-gun, but I am not anti-gun control either. Its a tough issue, but I think this issue with school shootings, violence and bullying boils down to something else…

WHAT happened to PARENTING??

IMG_0167Times have changed a lot from when I was in high school. I believe that parenting is harder now that ever because social media and digital devices allow our kids to be in touch with the world, the community and each other 24/7. If we as parents aren’t sticking our noses into their business, we aren’t doing our jobs. You can’t escape any newspaper or news site without SOME headline about school violence lately and so often the parents had NO CLUE about what was going on. Kids do NOT have any right to privacy, I’m sorry.. but they don’t. Maybe they can EARN a certain amount of privacy but as a parent we HAVE to know what is going on with them and their friends.

I’m sure many disagree with this. Heck, I KNOW many of my daughter’s “friends” parents don’t agree or don’t care, because I really don’t think their kids would act the way they do if the parents had a CLUE as to what their kids posted online. Our daughter knows that as long as we pay for the cell phone, we can access it ANY TIME. Likewise her computer, tablet, bedroom, etc. Have I gone into her room and nosed around, hell yes! Do I read texts and look at her Instagram feed? You betcha!  WHY? Because I want to know what is going on in her life…

Does she resent this? Maybe a little. But here’s the thing..  because she knows I might look at any time (and have) she TALKS to us. Maybe too much. LOL.. I laugh because I don’t really need to hear every little bit of gossip and drama going on between “A & B”, but she doesn’t hide stuff. Her friends still think I’m a cool Mom and they all talk in front of me.. even about the embarrassing stuff, the sad stuff and the scary stuff.

So, I think this is the starting point. We (society) need to stop worrying about being our kids friends and PARENT them. We need to not be concerned if our kid is mad at our decision or hate our rules, but be concerned with teaching our kids to be KIND, compassionate people. To be self confident and helpful and GOOD citizens. We need to teach boys that girls are equals and we need to teach girls that they deserve to be treated as such. We need to empower our kids to succeed and help them if they are reaching out for help, and we need to not be afraid to ask for and offer HELP when we see a child is struggling. And if someone is showing any kind of warning signals.. for god’s sake.. SAY SOMETHING!! Don’t wait.. we’re all in this together!

9 thoughts on “We’re all in this together

  1. I wholeheartedly agree with you, Heather. Parents need to be parents and not their kid’s friend. I was always in my kids’ business long before cellphones and computers. About the only social media at the time was MySpace and you can bet I was on it and monitoring their accounts. I always told my kids, “don’t lie to me…I will find the truth and it will not go well for you.” Parents have to be involved and present. You and G are doing an awesome job with H and she is growing into a beautiful young lady. ❤


  2. Heather, I couldn’t agree more! I am not a parent, but I agree that they should teach their children love and compassion. And not only parents, but everyone should not only teach the children they encounter about love and compassion, but also model that as well. I know that being a parent is a tough job, but I think you are doing very well, Heather.


  3. YESSS! Nothing but love coming from me. ❤ I am the exact same way with my 12-year-old daughter. I snoop whenever I feel the need to, and she knows it. It's no secret. She's the child. I'm the parent. Period. I've even started limiting screen time to just a couple of hours a day, and she doesn't know when those time blocks will be. 30 minutes-1 hour here and there, and I keep the phone at night. Keep it up, Mama! #parentingforthewin


  4. Well hello, hello! I fortunately came across the right post today. I’m a teacher and blog all about this at my site ( and couldn’t agree more with you. I am an elementary teacher and I was terrified to go to work everyday after the Sandy Hook shooting and I am afraid to send my first grader to school. My mom works at a high school and was in a hard lock down for 2 hours last week due to a gun threat. And these kids post anything they want on social media and nobody does a thing about it. I’m afraid that nothing is going to change as far as gun laws that make sense. I refuse be armed with a gun in school. That is just ridiculous and completely unsafe. Thank you for writing about this topic and speaking out to parents. We must parent our children and know what they post on social media. I create resources to help teachers teach kids how to use social media responsibly. It’s actually on this thread only a few down from yours. Please share it if you feel fit! Thanks for being the voice of reason! We all need to be the change to make our schools safe again.


  5. My kids aren’t on social media they don’t have a phone I have blocks on their laptop
    Yes they live in a bubble and that separates them from others but parents need more rules not less. The world is a scary place


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